This is 40

Getting older isn’t always glamorous. Sure, it’s just a number, but there’s no denying it: I’ve officially entered the “middle-aged” chapter — that strange in-between where you’re no longer young, but far from old. And while my knees creak, my joints are stiff in the mornings, and new lines appear on my face, I still feel young in all the ways that matter.

To mark this birthday, I took a series of self-portraits. I struggle with storytelling in my work sometimes, so I decided to make this a personal little project. Life gets busy — documenting it often falls to the bottom of the list — but that’s something I want to change. I want to be more intentional about preserving these moments, even the quiet, imperfect ones. So I documented little snippets of how I spent my 40th birthday doing what I love—starting slow, creating, and having a little fun along the way.

I didn’t even like coffee until my late-twenties — but now, I look forward to that first hot, bitter sip every morning like it’s a ritual. Still, it's something I’d like to eventually swap out for herbal tea or other healthier habits.

Creativity has taken on a bigger role in my life over the years. I’ve realized that I need it — not just as an outlet, but as fuel for my soul. I sometimes feel overwhelmed by how many hobbies I have, but honestly? I’d rather have too many passions than feel stuck or uninspired. My interests ebb and flow depending on my mood and season of life, and I’ve learned to embrace that.

Lately, soft pastels have been my medium of choice. I’m naturally drawn to anything that challenges me — something I’m not quite good at yet, but can grow into with time and practice.

I have a handful of what some might call “old lady” hobbies — knitting included. I haven’t picked up my needles much lately; summer keeps me outdoors and on the go. But I started a little crafty community here, and it felt so good to gather with the ladies this morning, chat, and spend some time creating together. Simple moments like that always fill my cup.

I’m in my Coastal Era — soaking in sun, salt, and all the movement that comes with it. I’ve always been drawn to water, though not necessarily the ocean… but lately, I decided to give surfing a try. It’s definitely not easy at my age or size, but I’ve never been one to shy away from a challenge. I’m always looking for ways to stay active that don’t feel like a chore, and this one? It's pure fun — humbling, wild, and so worth it.

There haven’t been any waves the past few days, but I’m still getting out there — paddling, practicing, and working on my balance.

I’m grateful to be here. Wrinkles, stretch marks, cellulite, varicose veins — all reminders that I’ve lived, learned, and earned every bit of it. These changes motivate me to take better care of myself. I’ve got so much more living to do, and I’m not handing my health over to time without a fight. I am strong and in pretty good shape but weight loss has been a long struggle, I'm still on the journey and probably always will be— but now, I’m riding waves instead of fighting them.

So here’s to 40 — to strength earned through experience, clarity that comes with time, and confidence in standing firmly in who I am. I’m not afraid of getting older; I’m proud of how far I’ve come and excited for what’s still ahead.

As I embrace this chapter, creativity continues to inspire me—finding new ways to express myself, explore ideas, and challenge my limits. It fuels me, keeps me curious, and reminds me that growth doesn’t stop.

I’m not just aging — I’m evolving, creating, and becoming more fully myself every day.